I guess I am accident waiting to happen


My many accidents can give me many slices, but today I’m remembering my most recent, with residual effects.  Oops,  I guess I won’t mention that last week, outside of church I slipped on water…not, ice… water and accidentally an expletive came right out of my mouth.  Well, no one looked at me, and there was no ‘Good Samaritan’ hopping over, so I just went on my merry way. However, this slice has been a continual pain, literally, in my shoulder.  So I shall set the scene….

It was this last Christmas.  We wanted it to be a memorable one for our family and our grand-daughter  because it was going to be the last one for them in the states for two years.  We decided to splurge and get our ‘real tree’ not at the place where they cut the trees in July and deliver them in October, but at a fancy nursery where they guarantee freshness.  Dave set it up and I was in charge of watering daily, so it would last until December 25th.  Dave suddenly got worried that I was shirking my responsibility with our gorgeous tree and said, “Nanc, if you keep on making me get a ‘real tree’ you cannot shirk your end of the deal. Can you remember to check the water today???”  I guess maybe he didn’t quite say it like that, but that is what I remember hearing.

He went downstairs and started to clean or whatever…I decided to check the water.  I got on my belly, put my hand in the tree stand wiggling my hand down hoping to touch the water, maybe to prove that I’m not a shirker.  Nope, no luck, no water.  I raised my elbow to get my hand out, twisted and pulled.  My hand wouldn’t budge.  I did what I always do when in a sticky situation.  I pushed and pulled- harder.  I prayed, I cried.  I’m incapacitated laying there, all alone under our fragrant tree.  I’m totally mad at myself, I’m totally  like Lucielle Ball getting myself in these crazy messes.  I then started screaming, still on my belly.  Dave, Daaaaaaaaaavvvvvvv.  He bounded up the stairs , took one look at me and did what he forever does when I do the impossible.  He starts laughing hysterically as I’m screaming hysterically.  Finally, he helps and my hand pops out.  I’m pretty mad at this point and he is still splitting a gut with laughter.

“Is that the way you always check the water?”

“Yes,” I solemnly said.

“Why don’t you just look at the water gauge in front of the tree stand.”

“Oh,  guess you never even told me it was there.”

Lesson learned:  always check the water, or you will still have shoulder pain in March.

Snip, snap, snout this tale is told out.


About Nanc

lifelong teacher who is semi-retired (does this sound better?) who loves God, family and laughing... who hates social injustice... who wants to write every day... who needs to exercise every day... who blog hops... who wants to live her everyday life led by her savior, Jesus Christ!

5 responses »

  1. Sorry, but I was laughing too! I love your comparison to Lucille Ball. I think we would be friends because I Love Lucy – really I do. And so descriptive, “I got on my belly, put my hand in the tree stand wiggling my hand down hoping to touch the water, maybe to prove that I’m not a shirker.” I also love someone who can write a funny piece. Nice job!

  2. You made me laugh! I can have unexplained accidents, too. (I fell in the hall at school two weeks ago…no water, no ice, just floor.) I especially like your description of your reaction once you realized you were stuck. “I did what I always do when in a sticky situation. I pushed and pulled- harder. I prayed, I cried.” I hope your shoulder gets better soon.

  3. Your voice shines in this piece. …and sorry, but this was quite funny. I do hope your shoulder feels better soon, but at least you have a great story to tell!

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