Dave is Ecuador with Kelly visiting Em, Sammie and John, I am home moving joylessly through my day because of green jealousy. I want to be Kelly and be snuggling with Sammie. Well, we don’t exactly snuggle in Ecuador because it is hot and sweaty.
The reason I’m jealous is because Kelly, my foster daughter…no my real daughter…is the ‘baby whisperer’. The truth is…I’m not. I may be a first grade whisperer or a fourth grade whisperer or even a seventh grade whisperer, but I have never been able to soothe babies…sometimes not even my own. Kelly is gifted in this way and I am just jealous and want to be her even in that sweaty, rainy and cricket filled town.
But today I have made a decision. I will kick to the curb these feelings. They are not right, they are not healthy. Today I have decided I will celebrate gratitude for these nine years that we have had this cheerful, capable and loving girl in our midst. I will celebrate the new bond that she has forged with Emily and appreciate that she has taken the time away from her job, her boyfriend and her life in Chicago to visit her sister and niece in a village that doesn’t have hot water, Starbucks or public transportation without chickens sitting in the next seat.
I will sit watching the light snow falling and I am mindful of all that I have been blessed with. I murmur a prayer asking for forgiveness. I feel lighter. xo