Monthly Archives: October 2018

Paper thin, my skin


slice button this marchPaper thin, my skin,

Unable to take your best shot,

Unable to withstand an attack,

And unable to fight back.

Today I should feel a new energy,

After all, sorries were spoken and

Forgiveness applied—

But wounds from those who matter

ache and sometimes fester when you have

a heart that perpetually seems to need two positives

for every negative.


PS because I usually feel the need… for my friends still in their writing classroom…please remember when you conference and mark up work…there are many 🙂 thinned skinned fledgling writers out and about. xo




oh no, not another test


Are all first-time grandmothers like me?  When I held our precious rosy haired hummingbird for the first time, it was love at first sight.  We raced down south and entered the labor and delivery waiting room with only ten minutes to spare.  I never thought I would get to gaze into a baby’s eyes during the ‘quiet alert’ after my own daughter was born. That miracle, that wide-eyed gaze was staring at me again— eyes that looked like a blueberry pie.

Dave and I cried in heaving gulps when left for five years to serve people in Ecuador. We made as many trips as possible to hold our dimpled girl.  She was the smartest, the naughtiest, multi-lingual girlie on the South American continent, but it was only our opinion.

Em Sam Dave giraffe

Em, Sam and Papa

As luck would have it, they ventured back stateside, and along the way, the family expanded to four— another girl, we were so blessed.

Soooooo… This is when I get on my soapbox.

Samantha enters kindergarten after finishing three years of all Spanish speaking Ecuadorian pre-school, where she has learned not to bite others, how to sit criss-cross applesauce, all the numbers up to fifty, all the letters, all the sounds and how to blend letters into words, yes—Spanish words, like I said earlier, she is exceptional, terribly gifted.

After a month of American of school, the kindergarten teacher said, “Yes, she is polite, yes, she listens….but she is behind our benchmark for this time in the year.  She may not make it out of kinder.”


I am aghast, errrr, the dreaded one-minute timings?????

“Yes, m’am, we are a high stakes testing environment.”

GRADE ONE (she eeked through):

“Yes, m’am, her scores are okay now.”

Then why do you keep her in the low group? Aren’t these groups supposed to be ever flexible?

“It will be better for her to stay with the lower kids, we feel.”

Who is the ‘we’? I thought, trying to keep my grandma mouth shut.


Sammy is taking tests every single day for a week.  She says the tests will get her in the Explorer group because they get to go on field trips.  Besides that, she says, they get some more challenges. Oh no, I fear for her remembering my own little girl’s sadness picturing…


my own little girl sitting lonely in her ‘high’ reading group after they took all of her friends away to-the gifted classroom down the hall. That day I had to explain to Emily— that tests will not show her creative side; the side of her personality that has no fear, or show her willingness to try hard, and the joy she brought to her mama’s heart every—single—day. Inside I felt terribly angry, angry at Otis Lennon gifted test creator. I carry my irritation with group intelligence testing. My fear has never diminished throughout all my classroom years.


Gifted. Samantha is designated Explorer by said test. But all of us knew that already. Finally, a test that worked (or maybe in all her brilliance she was a very good guesser).

They should have asked Grandma, and saved money on said test.  After all, don’t we know best? XO

PS because you know I like them.  The upswing of high stakes testing all over our country gives me pause…the amount of time daily, weekly and then many weeks during the spring doesn’t give a complete picture of a child’s worth and value. It is soapbox on which I will forever stand.