A new day, a new beginning—yesterday had ended in an unexplainable sorrow of not being understood in a place where normally I feel understood. Today was new, sunny, and promising as I started my scripture reading with my spill-proof coffee mug in hand.
I read what I wasn’t prepared for; I couldn’t have predicted it coming up in the text on my sunny, sunny day.
Jesus had just explained to the disciples what he would face on the cross, and spunky Peter had the nerve to take Jesus to the side and challenge his words.
Jesus responded with, “Get behind me Satan (he actually called Peter, his disciple Satan— ouch, that hurt as I scrawled it in my notebook).” HE continued, “You do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.” (Matthew 16:23)
And that is me, in a cracked nutshell. I care about me, me, me… most often.
I play the game outwardly of caring for Dave, our kids, my friends who hold my same opinions, and our country, but they are mostly “merely human concerns.”
How do I turn this around? So I ask God.
He responds, “Well, at least today you are reading and listening to me. But quite often, Nancy, I feel like I’m just a big check on your ‘To Do’ list.”
“You’ve got my attention, God… is there more?” Secretly fearing the get behind me Satan remark that he said to Peter, I press on and read more of the passage.
“Nancy— give me a break! In your journal, you just wrote get behind me Satan, two seconds ago, after clicking on Facebook to get more gossip for your cause— glad you remembered something from my word, though.”
His sarcasm pinched, “Sorry, God. I went to bed last night, still angry.”
“Forgiven—I almost forgot, you asked if there was more. There is. Sadly, there’s a whole lifetime of sorry and trying to turn things around. But I want to let you know this—I love you with the kind of love that you’ll never know fully on your planet. Guess what?”
My shoulders sagged, “Now what?”
“Every single day, I look forward to coffee and talking.”
I murmured, “I love it too, more and more each day.” I added, “See you soon, on my walk.”
“See ya, Luv ya— I know you get that sixties talk. Remember I’m with you—”
“always— even to the end of the age,” I whispered.