I hate appearing like a baby or a whiner, but I just got a magazine in my box at school. It is sitting right next to me as I type. The title implores me to open it up, saying with a star in front, Really Good Stuff, Essential Language Arts Resources for Today’s Classroom. I can pass up Coldwater Creek, Talbots and even Pottery Barn. On the bottom it even advertises Common Core for Literacy. There is a fair-haired golden girl with a Magic ‘e’ wand and card set. My girls and my boys would find it fascinating that the wand magically changes right before your very eyes.
I am a sucker for new gadgets and want to immediately see what I could get that would delight my students next year.
Wait…there isn’t going to be a next year. Never again will I walk in to my cozy, comfy room with my magic carpet and my ‘checking in stools.’ I’ll be back to visit and I will rush by 121 in a hurry, it will hurt to see another in my spot…yet I know it is time.
I turn the catalog over and push it away…oops…I see that I get a free gift when I order on-line. Maybe I could find some stuff that Em can use with Sammie. I turn the page…I start reading the catalog backwards. I turn the page…
PS It has been excruciating trying to turn this page in my life this year, the hardest thing probably I have ever done. In so many ways my identity has really been wrapped up in this job. I have been teaching since I was 20 years old. But I know the next step is coming on rapidly. I love the work. God bless those of you who love it also. I will finish strong, in two months, I will be able to turn the page… I think I can, I think I can. xo
Two years and finishing strong... 
Yes, you can. Yes, you will. God is preparing for you now the good works you will do…Eph. 2:9-11
There is life beyond the classroom walls Monday through Friday and you will discover where your talents are needed. It is sooooo hard to leave that life behind when it is all you’ve ever known, but think of the possibilities that may appear and you can answer the calls.
Oh my gosh your words spoke volumes to me as I too am approaching the end . . . but wait it’s not the end of the story . . . just the end of a very long chapter. . . many new chapters to open and discover!
This is a powerful post! I have often felt similarly. I didn’t spend nearly as many years in my former classroom (only 3), but did love my students…and loved buying things for them! Like you, I could pass up impulse buys for myself but whenever I saw something in a store that I knew my students would just love, I had to buy it. It has been a year and a half since I last taught them and I just last month, I found myself looking at a few items in the store, thinking about how much my kiddos would love them. Your students are blessed to have someone as a teacher who really cares about them! I’m sure the next phase of your life will be equally as rewarding…in differing ways!
Thank you for your heartfelt post. I too will feel torn when it is time for me to move on from the classroom. Stepping away is bittersweet, excitement at the prospect to pursue passions you have not had the time to pursue, and despondent at walking away from a career so rich in rewards. In a funny way, it is a good place to be, as it says we are ever so fortunate to have experienced the joy that comes from teaching.
Yes you can. I was in a quandary when order time rolled around my last year. I knew what general supplies I needed to order but not what subject specific supplies the person coming in after me would want. I knew who my replacement was and I spoke with her but she didn’t know the content (she taught 4th grade and was moving to a sixth grade Language Arts department) we decided that she would use what I had and what she had. She would then be better able to choose supplies for herself the following year. Yes, there is life after retirement and it is wonderful!
oh…this is just so emotional. I never think about catalogs that way, but I know that I too, one day, will be glancing at those knowing that I don’t need to order anything else. Enjoy every moment of this spring with your class. It will be these memories that you will take with you! Great Slice!
The PS. said so much about you – that you love what you do, that you will miss its presence in your life, that you know you’ve been lucky to have work that’s this meaningful and rewarding. It will always be a part of you – teaching is a way of life, and perhaps it will be the start of something new for the ever-teacher in you!
Aww, I’m sad/happy for you! What you wrote really connected with me. I love “Really Good Stuff”. And it’s been difficult for me being out of the classroom to be a coach. I miss it. 🙂 I wish you “really good stuff” in your life beyond teaching.
I love your room. Your students will miss you. I know it is hard. Been there four years ago, but too young to retire at 43. You will find a new path though. Congratulation on finishing strong.
Goodness I can’t imagine that time in my life. But you capture the dilemma so well. I think for a long time, a really long time, you’ll be looking at those magazines with a wistful glance. I know I will. Teaching gets into your blood.
I can’t even imagine… But I also know that big plans are just around the corner!
I can’t imagine this either. But as this door begins to close (still not for 2 months!), just know God will need you elsewhere. He has plans for you. Don’t forget that. Watch for the many new doors to open.